So much has changed over the last few weeks. The novelty of online happy hours and zoom everything wore off a while back. There is a whole lot of uncertainty as to what the “new normal” is going to look like. There is a whole lot of uncertainty in general. This is a really challenging time with so much turmoil, sadness and upheaval that many of us are experiencing a lot of stress in our lives.
Trees behind our apartment: Photo by Holly O’Brian
Despite all of the difficulties, I am also not clamoring to jump back in to ”business as usual”, whenever that does in fact happen. I have gained some very specific things from this challenging but also beautiful experience, and I want to make sure that it doesn’t all get lost in the shuffle with the return to the “new normal”. We can use some of the positives that we have been able to draw from the whole “stay at home” experience to deal with the other growing stresses in our lives. Things are so complicated now, that the value of simplicity is more obvious than ever.
What I Want to Preserve from My Stay at Home Experience:
1. Sleep (Naps Included):
I have been reading a very interesting book about one of my favorite subjects: sleeping! “Why We Sleep and Dream” by Matthew Walker, Phd. is a fascinating book that reminds me of how much I love both sleeping and dreaming 😊.
Why We Sleep: Unlocking the Power of Sleep and Dreams
“Why We Sleep and Dream” reinforces the benefit of an afternoon nap, which is probably the most delicious thing ever. There are some people who brag about getting by on very little sleep, but don’t believe them! This book shares scientific proof that getting sufficient quality sleep is the ticket to being happier, healthier, more productive and even smarter. Sleeping less than 7 hours just doesn't cut it. There is nothing more luxurious than the joy of taking an afternoon nap, and I try to do it every day on the weekend. If you aren’t in the habit, give it a try. It’s the ultimate treat. I find that if I sleep for about 45 minutes that seems to be the sweet spot. I wake up refreshed and there is something decadent and deliciously indulgent about taking a nap. I have thoroughly enjoyed prioritizing napping during all of this time at home.
2. Being In Nature:
I feel very lucky because my parents gave me and my brother and sister tons of opportunities to enjoy nature as kids growing up in Washington State. We were always camping, hiking, going to the Coast, or spending time at our cabin on Lopez Island in the San Juan Islands. Being in nature is healing to the soul, and being confined to our home has been made so much better because of the easy access we have to all of this natural beauty. There’s really nothing better.
We live in a natural paradise, with Rock Creek Park a few feet from our back door. Every day we have the opportunity to see deer, squirrels and all kinds of beautiful birds. Even foxes and raccoons on occasion!
My husband and daughter and I have been keeping up our almost daily walks in Rock Creek Park. This is really the perfect time to enjoy the park. A few weeks ago we even saw a Bald Eagle.
In addition, we have started bike riding in Rock Creek Park and on other trails nearby. Yesterday we rode from where we live next to the Strathmore in North Bethesda on the Bethesda Trolley Trail that ties into the Capital Crescent Trail which we rode all the way to Georgetown and back. It was absolutely beautiful, and exactly the stress relief that I was needing. Our new hobby of bike riding is definitely something that all three of us are going to continue in our “back to normal” lives.
Sitting outside on our back patio brings a calming symphony of bird songs all day long. And yesterday, a sweet tiny hummingbird popped up outside my living room window. I feel so lucky to live in such a beautiful place where just going outside is a soothing daily treat.
Dogwood Trees in Front of Our Apartment: Photo by Holly O’Brian
3. Morning Pages:
I am by far the most morning person of the three of us in my family, so when I wake up I am pretty much guaranteed a good chunk of time to myself. I have really embraced the concept of “Morning Pages” during the shutdown:
The Artist's Way Morning Pages Journal: Deluxe Edition
Every day, right after waking up, I fill three pages of my Morning Pages journal with whatever is on my mind. It’s basically a brain dump of what worries me, what I am excited about, and sometimes what I have dreamed about the night before. The mere getting it out on the page helps me to feel centered and focused, while giving me the opportunity to let go of some of the clutter that tends to accumulate in my brain. It also helps to get the creative juices flowing and to figure out next steps when I’m feeling stuck. There is no pressure as to what to write and nobody to impress. I have found this daily writing exercise to be especially helpful during these last months.
4. Experimenting with new activities and hobbies:
Slowing down has helped me to open up more space in my mind to try out new things just for the pure fun of it.
It is so easy to get stuck in a rut, and resort to the same old activities to wind down, especially in times of stress. My unhealthy go-to stress relievers typically consist of lots of news watching and lots of aimless internet use. I have been trying to check the news just a couple times a day, and fill my down time with things I wouldn’t normally do, like binge TV watching, cooking and learning French.
Watching Great TV!
“Ozark”:
Over the last month, my husband and I have seen the full three seasons of Ozark, so over 30 hours of good old TV. Now, I know that many people might think this is a complete waste of time. I love (and kind of hate) this show. It is very dark, extremely violent, and it shows the way people can fool themselves into going along with the lives that they have set up for themselves, merely for the sake of survival. The acting is fantastic, the cinematography is stunning, and the characters are fascinating and likeable, even when dabbling in different degrees of shadiness. Good (and not so good) people trying to do the right thing, and constantly having to justify to themselves all the wrong things they are doing. But what shows like this also give us is a huge dose of perspective. Whatever it is that is challenging us at this moment in our lives, Marty and Wendy more often than not are in a bit more of a pickle with whatever they have gotten themselves into. Pure escapism but I love it.
“Little Fires Everywhere”:
I read the book by Celeste Ng which this is based on a few years ago. I really loved this book, so it was hard to not do the comparison thing. But I ended up really enjoying this series and would highly recommend it. It directly addresses the idea that things that seem perfect or somehow desirable on the outside are often not what they appear. And it also is completely relevant to what is going on now in our country.
Trying New Recipes:
I’m not one of those people who finds cooking to be relaxing. I think it’s partly because my work is creative, and being creative in the kitchen after a full day of mostly creative work doesn’t exactly feel appealing. And my husband Jose is really the most amazing cook who actually cooks for fun. He pays attention to every last detail, and loves putting all of his creative energy into a new recipe, a thoughtfully prepared tapa or even a glass of freshly squeezed orange juice. I fully appreciate his love of cooking and I thoroughly enjoy all of his culinary creations. Surprisingly, with all this time at home, I have actually wanted to cook a little bit more myself. Who knew? A wonderful cookbook for people with little cooking inspiration is Giada De Laurentis’: “Weeknights with Giada”:
Weeknights with Giada: Quick and Simple Recipes to Revamp Dinner: A Cookbook
A recipe from this book which was an incredible hit with my family are these “Tilapia Fish Tacos with Arugula”. I made them with regular corn tortillas and left out the wasabi powder because I couldn’t find it anywhere. Delicious! I’m making them again this week!
Tilapia Fish Tacos with Arugula Recipe
Learning Languages:
I am still learning French on Duolingo: I can now say: “J’achete une jupe blanche” (and a few other random things). I am feeling much more comfortable with the construction of phrases, the grammar and even the pronunciation, with just 10-15 minutes a day. It may take years before I can carry on a real conversation, but I think that language learning is a wonderfully fun stress relieving endeavor.
Reading for Pleasure:
I am loving all the purely for pleasure reading that I have been doing recently. And very little of it has been non-fiction. In my normal life, I tend to spend a LOT of time reading non fiction, either about improving my business or my life. It can be a bit exhausting. I have read 6 fiction books in the last 6 weeks, all mysteries in the Gamache Series by Louise Penny. It is so wonderful to read fiction on a regular basis. I love that I have developed this habit of reading for pleasure and will definitely carry on this newfound hobby. It gives healthy perspective to get out of your own head and involved in other peoples’ fascinating lives by way of books.
5. Scheduling Fewer Activities and Allowing More Space Throughout the Day:
Working 100% from home has made it very clear to me that I need to learn to work smarter, not harder. And I think I’ve made a lot of progress on that front. The Pomodoro Technique (working in 25 minute chunks of time with 5 minute breaks in between, and a 20 minute break after 4- 25 minute sessions) has been extremely helpful for me in boosting productivity.
The Pomodoro Technique: Do more and have fun with time management
I also have figured out that I am definitely a morning person, and am much more productive when I get up a little earlier and start work by 8. And finish work by 4. Having a full hour for lunch is a habit I am going to continue for sure. (This is where I do a lot of reading for pleasure).
Not having to commute has added a lot of extra time to my day. I am planning to continue working from home 3 days a week even when things open up to cut out as much of the “running around” as possible.
With all of this busy-ness, our lives have become far too scheduled. I have realized that I feel much happier and even more productive the more down time I have, and the more space I give myself to just be.
6. Prioritizing spending LOTS of time with friends and family:
I miss seeing my friends and my family. Also just feeling a part of a community where people interact and say hello to each other and talk about whatever. In spite of missing lots of people, there have been some nice perks to just hanging out with my little family.
Sun Peeking through the Trees: Photo by Holly O’Brian
I have LOVED the opportunity to spend tons of time with my 15 year old daughter. I know that spending all of this time with her parents is not realistically in line with what a 15 year old should be doing developmentally, and I know that this somewhat forced togetherness is soon going to end. At any rate, I am so grateful for this time that we have been able to spend together over these last three months.
I have also enjoyed spending way too much time with my husband :). I appreciate the way he takes care of all the plants, and the way he takes care of me and my daughter with his delicious cooking:). There’s somewhat of a “playing house” aspect to the whole thing which has been a lot of fun. We’ve had our ups and downs, but in general, we all have done quite well. And that is something that I think we all need to give ourselves credit for.
The saddest part of this whole situation for me has been losing a good friend to COVID-19 almost a month ago. My friend and I had a very easy and unique friendship, in that it was almost solely based on running into each other at Starbuck’s regularly over the past 15 years. Though I still have not assimilated fully that he is no longer here, his dying has made it clearer to me than ever how very important it is to appreciate and stay connected to all of the people we love in our lives, and not just assume that they will always be there. And it also makes that ever increasing number of people affected by the coronavirus hit a lot closer to home.
This situation over the last few months has given me the opportunity to simplify things in a way that has enriched my life in some very concrete ways. I spend a ton of time in nature, many hours reading, and hanging out with my family, as well. After I finish up my work, we spend a lot of time focused on meals, and relaxing, and keeping ourselves entertained in small ways. This sense of space helps me to feel more calm and grounded. And it also gives my mind a rest so that I am ready to be my most creative and present.
Focusing on the simple things and appreciating all the good people in our lives goes a long way in helping us to feel better equipped to handle the stress of these very complicated times in which we are living.
This whole stay at home experience has clarified for me how the simplest parts of life are, without a doubt, the most satisfying.
-Holly